I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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