lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
kristin has been a bad kristin
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dignity is for republicans.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize