ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
