I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
