Define "chronic" masturbator.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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