Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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