3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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