He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
we're so committed to being not committed
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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