Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We are all done wearing pants today
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
