I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize