Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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