I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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