Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
