giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
should my penis look like a turkey
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
