I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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