I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I believe in your delicious
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
