We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
