Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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