I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
