No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
