with your own penis?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize