I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The struggles of a small town man whore
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
