His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize