I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
