If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
