I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
