You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize
