the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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