She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
3pm strippers are depressing
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
