I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
