evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
