I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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