He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
