i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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