i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
this hospital has no fireball
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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