I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize