You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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