i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize