She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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