So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
