My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
