I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
