Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
