Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
