"it" just moved
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
