girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
