the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
