he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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