Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
they're like a gay fantastic four
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
