You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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