Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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