You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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