This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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