To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
