Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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