i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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