Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
