Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
