I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
