genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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