The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
