it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
