I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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