I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We have started to decorate penises.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
