I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
