We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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