Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize