11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Dual....:-)
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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