You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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