is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
